PDL 15 (1/9/2017)

  • Your spiritual family is more important than your physical family because it will last forever.
  • Benefit's of being in God's family
    • We will get to be with God forever
    • We will be completely changed to be like Christ
    • We will be freed from all pain, suffering, and death
    • We will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service
    • We will get to share in Christ's glory
  • No one can take away your eternal inheritance - it can't be destroyed by war, a poor economy, or a natural disaster
  • Baptism symbolizes God's second purpose for your life - participating in the fellowship of God's eternal family
  • Being a part of God's family is the highest honor and the greatest privilege you will ever receive.
    • Whenever you feel unimportant, unloved, or insecure, remember to whom you belong.
  • QTC: Join a small group and start listening and sharing stories and thoughts so that we may grow in our faith together.

 

 

PDL 16 (1/10/2017)

  • "No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." 1 Corinthians 13:3B (MSG)
  • Life is all about LOVE.
    • It is in loving that we are most like God.
    • Jesus said that our love for each other - not our doctrinal beliefs - is our greatest witness to the world.
      • "Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
    • We cannot learn to love without the fellowship of other believers.
      • Love cannot be learned in isolation (that's why there is a Trinity).
      • You have to be around people - irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.
  • LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE.
    • Relationships must have priority in your life above everything else. Why?
    • Life without love is really worthless.
      • Busyness is the great enemy of relationships - we get too preoccupied with "urgent" things rather than caring about what really matters.
    • Love will last forever.
      • Three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is LOVE.
    • HOW YOU TREAT PEOPLE WILL BE THE MOST ENDURING LEGACY OF YOUR TIME ON EARTH.
      • In our final moments, we all realize that relationships are what life is all about.
      • Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than later.
    • Morning prayer:
      • "God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people - because that's what life is all about. I don't want to waste this day."
  • TIME IS YOUR MOST PRECIOUS GIFT BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE A SET AMOUNT OF IT. Time is your LIFE. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
    • (Remember that for your practice too. People will appreciate it, esp if they are believers).
    • The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is FOCUSED ATTENTION.
  • You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.
    • Love means giving up - yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else.
  • THE BEST USE OF LIFE IS LOVE. THE BEST EXPRESSION OF LOVE IS TIME. THE BEST TIME TO LOVE IS NOW.
    • Why is now the best time to express love? Because you don't know how long you will have the opportunity.
  • QTC: Relationships have never been my priority. I want to cry when I think about that. I actually had a really long talk today with Marty at the RPO office. Relationships were never emphasized in my life. Not with my parents. Not with my sister. Not with my friends (or only when it was convenient or benefitted me in some way). Not with the people I worked with.
    • Only recently have I begun to understand how important the relationships are in my work life. This has started to back track into my personal life. It really should've been the other way around but I never looked close enough to find out.
    • I will start focusing on it by showing gratitude to everyone in my life. I will complete the gratitude assignment AND send it to those people.

 

 

PDL 17 (1/11/2017)

  • You are called to belong, not just to believe.
  • "Membership" is a word of Christian origin.
    • Being a member of the church means being a vital organ of a living body, not just an inanimate object.
    • The first sign of spiritual decline is usually inconsistent attendance at worship services and other gatherings of believers.
    • When we become careless about fellowship, everything else starts to slip too.
  • Jesus died for the church. It is Christ's "wife."
  • A church family identifies you as a genuine believer.
  • Church moves you out of self-centered isolation.
    • You learn to care about others and share in their experience
    • "If one part of my body suffers, all the other parts suffer with it. Or if one part of our body is honored, all the other parts share its honor."
    • 1 John 3:16 "Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down out lives for our brothers."
      • We must have a sacrificial kind of love, a willingness to love other the same way Jesus would love you.
  • Church helps develop spiritual muscle.
    • We are called to pray, encourage, admonish, greet, serve, teach, accept, honor, bear burdens, forgive, submit, and be devoted to each other.
    • It is easy to fool yourself into thinking you are mature if there is no one to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships.
  • The Body of Christ needs you.
    • Ministry - you have a unique role to play in His family
    • "A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church."
    • You can have a wider ministry but it is in addition to your local ministry.
  • You will share in Christ's mission in the world.
  • Church family will help keep you from backsliding.
    • NONE of us are immune to temptation.
      • Given the right situation, you and I are capable of any sin.
    • "Mind your own business" is not a Christian phrase.
      • If you know someone wavering spiritually, it is your responsibility to go after them and bring them back into the fellowship.
  • The Church meets your 5 deepest needs:
    • 1) A purpose to live for
    • 2) People to live with
    • 3) Principles to live by
    • 4) A profession to live out
    • 5) Power to live on
  • My life's 5 purposes:
    • 1) Worship - helps you focus on God
    • 2) Fellowship - helps you face life's problems
    • 3) Discipleship - helps you fortify your faith
    • 4) Ministry - helps you find your talents
    • 5) Evangelism - helps you fulfill your mission
  • God wants to love REAL people, NOT IDEAL people.
    • You can spend a lifetime searching for a perfect church, but you will never find it.
    • You are called to love imperfect sinners, just as God does.
  • You become a Christian by committing yourself to Christ, you become a church member by committing yourself to a specific group of believers.
    • The first decision brings salvation; the second brings fellowship.
  • QTC: YES, at least it will because I am moving forward in all of those aspects.

 

 

PDL 18 (1/12/2017)

  • Life is meant to be shared
  • Fellowship
    • Unselfish, honest sharing, serving, giving, and comforting
    • Smaller is better. After about 10 people, the quietest ones stop participating.
  • Fellowship is about authenticity
    • Open and honest - sharing hurts, feelings, failures, doubts, fears, weaknesses
    • Ask for prayer
    • We grow only by taking risks of being honest and open with others.
  • Fellowship is about mutuality.
    • Building reciprocal relationships, sharing responsibilities, and helping each other.
    • "Make every effort to do what leads to leave and to mutual edification."
      • You are not responsible FOR everyone in the body of Christ, but you are responsible TO them.
      • Help them where you can.
  • Fellowship is about sympathy.
    • "I understand what you're going through, and what you feel is neither strange nor crazy."
    • Every time you understand and affirm someone's feelings, you build fellowship.
    • There are different levels of fellowship and each is appropriate at different times.
      • Sharing, studying God's Word, serving, suffering
    • "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ."
  • Fellowship is about mercy.
    • Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.
    • We all need mercy because we all stumble and fall and require help getting back on track.
    • It takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to maintain fellowships.
    • God's mercy to us is motivation to show mercy to others.
      • YOU WILL NEVER BE ASKED TO FORGIVE SOMEONE ELSE MORE THAN GOD HAS ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU.
      • Whenever you are hurt by someone, you have a choice to make: Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution? You can't do both.
  • Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior.
    • We are called to forgive instantly when someone hurts us repeatedly, but we are not expected to trust them immediately. We are also not expected to continue allowing them to hurt us. They must prove they have changed over time.
    • Small groups offer encouragement and accountability to restore trust.
  • QTC: Ask how people are doing and genuinely listen to them and connect more authentically. Be more open and honest with people who are open to fellowship with you.

 

 

PDL 19 (1/13/2017)

  • Community Requires Commitment
  • Community takes honesty
    • You have to care enough to speak honestly, even if it is the harder thing to do.
    • Many fellowships have been sabotaged by fear: No one had the courage to speak up in the group while a member's life fell apart.
    • "An honest answer is a sign of friendship."
      • Sometimes this means caring enough to lovingly confront one who is sinning or is being tempted to sin.
    • When you try to stomp out any feelings of tension or discomfort without addressing the underlying issue, it leaves everyone with an underlying frustration. This leads to a sick environment of gossip.
    • "The tunnel of conflict is the passageway to intimacy in any relationship."
      • Until you care enough to confront and resolve the underlying barriers, you will never grow close to each other.
      • In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.
        • Frankness is not a license to say whatever whenever you want. There is a right time and way to do everything.
        • When correcting people:
          • Talk to an older man as if he were your father.
          • A younger man as if he were your brother.
          • An older woman as if she were you mother.
          • A younger woman as if she were you sister.
    • We are not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don’t we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers?
  • Community takes humility
    • Self-importance, smugness, and stubborn pride destroy fellowship faster than anything else.
      • Pride builds wall between people, humility builds bridges.
      • I need to point the spotlight on others and highlight their strengths and achievements.
    • Humility is NOT thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. It is thinking MORE of others. Humble people are so focused on serving others, they don't think of themselves.
    • EGR (extra grace required) people test our resolve for fellowship.
      • We all have quirks and annoying traits, but the basis for our fellowship is GOD, NOT how compatible we are.
    • Courtesy
      • Instead of thinking about how far they have to go, think about how far they have come in spite of their hurts.
      • Do NOT downplay other people's doubts. Just because you don't feel it doesn't make it less real for someone else.
        • Real community happens when people feel safe enough to share their doubts and fears without being judged.
  • Community takes confidentiality
    • Do NOT gossip. This must be confronted and they will leave if they want to own up to their divisive actions.
    • The fellowship of the church is more important than any individual.
  • Community requires frequency.
    • Must have conviction that you need it for spiritual health.
    • It requires an investment of time.
  • The benefits of sharing life together far outweigh the costs, and it prepares us for heaven.
  • QTC: I will help cultivate the characteristics of biblical fellowship in any small group that I am in:
    • Authenticity, mutuality, sympathy, mercy, honesty, humility, courtesy, confidentiality, frequency.

 

 

PDL 20 (1/14/2017)

  • Relationships are always worth restoring
  • Our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity
    • If you want to be a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker
    • It is not about avoiding conflict. Running away, pretending it doesn't exist, or being afraid to talk about it is cowardice.
  • Restoring Fellowship
    • Talk to God before talking to the other person.
      • If you pray before gossiping about it, you will often find that either God changes your heart or changes the other person without your help.
      • Only god can fulfill all of your needs. Do not look to anyone else to fulfill this for you, or you will be met with disappointment and bitterness.
    • Always take the initiative.
      • Schedule a face-to-face meeting to resolve conflict as soon as possible
      • Time only breeds resentment.
      • Make sure you are both at your best when you do it. Don't meet when tired, rushed, or when you will be interrupted.
    • Sympathize with their feelings.
      • LISTEN first, talk last. Focus on their FEELINGS, NOT the FACTS. Begin with sympathy, not solutions.
      • Don't try to talk people out of their feelings at first. Just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive.
        • Feelings are NOT always true or logical. Resentment actually makes us think and act in foolish ways.
      • Patience comes from wisdom, and wisdom comes from hearing the perspective of others.
        • It says, "I value your opinion, I care about our relationship, and you matter to me."
        • People don't care what we know until they know we care.
      • We must bear the burden of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others. It is a SACRIFICE to patiently absorb the anger of others, especially if it's unfounded.
        • Christ endured unfounded, malicious anger in order to save you.
    • Confess your part in the conflict.
      • HUMBLY admit your mistakes. Don’t make excuses or shift the blame. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
      • Often the way we handle a conflict creates a bigger hurt than the original problem.
    • Attack the problem, not the person.
      • You cannot fix the problem if you're consumed with fixing the blame.
      • You will never get your point across by being cross, so choose your words wisely.
      • In resolving conflict, HOW you say it is as important as WHAT you say.
      • You must destroy your arsenal of relational nuclear weapons: condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescending, and being sarcastic.
    • Cooperate as much as possible.
      • "Do everything you can to live in peace with everybody."
      • Peace always has a price tag. Sometimes is costs our pride; it often costs our self-centeredness.
    • Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.
      • Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem.
      • When you focus on reconciliation, the problem often loses significance and becomes irrelevant.
      • God expects unity, not uniformity.
        • It doesn't mean you need to give up on finding a solution. You may need to continue discussing and even debating - but you do it in a spirit of harmony.
        • Reconciliation means you bury the hatchet, not necessarily the issue.
  • QTC: Nataliya? Mike? [A certain attending]. Claudia. All of my exes that I've hurt? Julie?

 

 

PDL 21 (1/15/2017)

  • It is your job to protect the unity of the church.
  • Focus on what we have in common, not our differences.
    • God made all of these differences, so we should celebrate them, not merely tolerate them.
    • God wants unity, not uniformity.
  • Be realistic in your expectations.
    • Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity.
    • Settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency.
    • Maturity is living with the tension.
    • "Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."
    • Reconciliation, not running away, is the road to stronger character and deeper fellowship.
  • Choose to encourage rather than criticize.
    • God warns us over and over not to criticize, compare, or judge each other.
    • We must not stand in judgment or look down on other believers whose convictions differ from our own.
    • Remember that other Christians, no matter how much you may disagree with them, are not the real enemy.
  • Refuse to listen to gossip.
    • Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution.
    • Listening to gossip is like accepting stolen property, and it makes you just as guilty of the crime.
    • People who gossip to you will gossip about you. They cannot be trusted.
    • It is sad that in God's flock, the greatest wounds usually come from other sheep, not wolves.
      • The quickest way to end conflict is to lovingly confront those who are gossiping and insist that they stop it.
  • Practice God's method for conflict resolution.
    • Try to work it out between the two of you.
    • If that doesn't work, bring a friend or two so that the presence of a witness will keep things honest.
    • If that doesn't work, then tell the church.
    • No leaders are perfect.
      • Pastors often have the unpleasant task of serving as mediator between hurt, conflicting, or immature members.
      • They're also given the impossible task of trying to make everyone happy, which even Jesus could not do!
    • One of the reasons God put us into a church family is to learn unselfishness.
      • Sometimes we must show preference to others.
      • We must learn to say "we" instead of "I" and "our" instead of "my."
  • QTC: I'm trying to figure out which campus I belong to while taking into account Ray's and Julie's feelings. During small group, I also try to only share when I am particularly moved to for the benefit of others. I have a habit of talking too much, so I try to be keen to let others contribute more to the conversation to keep the balance and learn from their experiences.

 

 

Week 2: You were Planned for God's Pleasure

Week 4: You were Created to Become Like Christ

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